Did he grow up without me?
by Waterwitch778
Summary: "I hated the old Cartman! Do I hate the new one?" Kyman KyleXCartman Slash Yaoi! Set in high school! don't like don't read
1. Chapter 1

Did he grow up without me?

I don't think he realised I was awake, when he carried me home. He could of just left me there, like I expected him to, but he didn't...  
I was surprised that he could lift me, I suppose I still thought of him as the same little fat boy that I'd know all my life. I hadn't noticed that he'd changed, maybe that proves I hadn't.  
They'd attacked me, the football team. I don't know if Stan was there but even if we aren't friends anymore, I did hope that once our friendship meant something.  
I could hear his heart beating like crazy, why? When he found out I was gay, he called me a fag and accused of me of liking Stan! I always thought he'd kind of looked a little sad. Jealousy? Was that it? I don't like Stan, well not like that.  
He took me home, was kind and polite to my parents. Not one comment about dumb Jews or any of his usual bullshit. Did he grow up without me? I hated the old Cartman! Do I hate the new one?

-A year beforehand-

When we got older we grew apart! Not just me and Cartman but all of us. Stan, part of the football team, the most popular kid at school with the hot head cheerleader girlfriend. Kenny, let's just say he's slept with the whole cheerleading squad and the most of the rest of the female population. Cartman, as soon as we got to high school he started taking auto shop, I guess lugging around car and motorcycle parts made him strong, his hair has also gotten longer, most of the time tied back in a short ponytail but sometimes class it hangs down into his stormy grey eyes. And me...you could say I'm a nerd, that's the table I sit at, at lunch but I'm not insanely smart or anything. I wear skinny jeans and about 6 months ago I dyed, my bright red hair, black. I don't think that really describes nerd.  
I'm lonely in more ways than one! I have no friends, the kids I eat lunch with, accept me only because I'm a neutral outsider like them! Oh and I'm also in the same poetry club. I want a boyfriend...I wish I still lived in Sans Francisco! I know that the adults we're weird and their kids were druggies but at least gays were accepted there. No one would hide in fear of being prosecuted by those around them. When the fuck would South Park hurry up and evolve?

"Hey Kyle! Hey Kyle!"  
"Hey what's up Kenny?" I replied as I started quickly packing up my library books. If Kenny was talking to me that meant he wanted something and when Kenny wanted something he got it, no matter what it was!  
"Wanna do me a favour?" he grinned grabbing my last book off the table before I could stuff it in my bag.  
"No and give me back my book! Its due back today!"  
"Well guess it's going to be late then and if you have a late library book, you won't be able to take any other books out!"  
I gasped he was blackmailing me by threatening my only salvation from my shit life, literature!  
"Fine! What is this favour?"  
"My cars broken and I mean broken bad! I want the only guy who can fix it, to fix it! The best in the biz, the greatest at this school, in fact the greatest in this town, Eric Cartman!" he drawled out, his eyes beginning to sparkle.  
"What has that got to do with me? Why don't you just go ask him to fix your car?" I answer fairly bemused by this whole ordeal.  
"Tried! He refused and you know what, it's incredibly hard to bribe or blackmail Eric Cartman. He just doesn't care about anything...well anything expect you."  
"What?" I cried in shock.  
"Oh come on Kyle! I've seen the way he looks at you and I've also seen the way you look at him! Who knew you two had sexual tension radiating from when you were eight years old?"  
"I don't think about Cartman that way and I never will!" I growled stomping one of my black basketball boots.  
"Ha ha ha! Just keep telling yourself that!" laughed Kenny, "I'll just go ahead and get down to business. I want you to persuade him to fix my car! You're the only one he'll listen to! Do it and you can have you book back!"  
With that he turned on his heel and strutted over to the door and called back, "See ya around Karl!"

Where do the rebels, a.k.a the auto shop kids, out at lunch? I had no clue! Definitely not in the lunch room or the library. So that left the garage or the fountain outside. I'd go for the fountain first because if they weren't there I could always pretend was looking for someone else! But they were but Cartman wasn't with them.  
"Hey Kyle what brings you to my lunchtime domain?" called Craig from a spot by the fountain in between two girl with numerous tattoos and piercings.  
"I'm looking for Cartman." I squeaked, "But I see he's not out here so I'll look else where!"  
"Oh he'll be along in a minute. Why not wait with me and friends here?"  
"Ok." I replied mildly hysterically. It be a understatement to say that I was simply afraid of Craig. He'd changed a lot since elementry school and even thought he'd never been caught doing anything wrong, there were some viscous rumors!  
"Come closer Kyle! I won't bite!" he teased but I didn't quite believe him. When he wanted he could look suspiciously like a wolf.  
I stumbled a little closer, earning glares from the two tattoo girls and the rest of the group. They did rather resemble a pride of lions, protected the there leader from outsiders.  
While I was making up animal metaphors in my head I had stopped directly in front of Craig, really to close for comfort. I desided it would be best take a couple of steps back but Craig wasn't having this.  
"Where are you going? Frightened little deer." he whispered as he in one swift movement, turned me round and pulled me onto his  
lap.  
"Why go for Cartman when you can have me?" he hissed in my ear as he ground his dick into my ass, making me squeal and flale uncontrollably.  
"Get off him Craig!"  
I don't think I ever been so happy to see Cartman before in my life!  
"Awww can't we share him Eric? He's just so darn cute!"  
"Let him go Craig or you'll find that not only will you bike not be fixed but SOMEONE will have stolen it's parts and chucked the rest of the bike into the lake!" threatened Cartman crossing his arms and glaring.  
A cold passed between then for about a minute might of been longer when finally Craig burst out laughing and Cartman's face changed into a pleasant smirk.  
"Fine! Fine! I know when I'm beat!" chuckled Craig letting me clamber off his knee and flee to a safe distance behind Cartman.  
"See ya Craig! Come on Kyle let's talk!" said Cartman starting for towards the garage.  
After we'd gotten a safe distance away he finally talked.  
"I'm guessing Kenny sent you to convince me to fix his car!"  
How did he know? Well I suppose anyone would suspicious if two of their childhood friends, who they hadn't spoken to in years, came to them on the same day?  
I lied, I needed that book back, if what Kenny said was true then I should be able to convince Cartman even if it took awhile.  
"No actually I was wondering you wanted to see a movie with me?"  
"What? Are you serious?"  
"Yeah but if you don't wa.."  
"No I want to!" he interrupted hastily.  
"Oh cool I'll see you at 10, at the movie theatre?"  
"Yeah see ya then" Cartman grinned as he nodded farewell and continued to the garage.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Did it count as a date? No of course it didn't! Well if that's true, why the hell did it take me so damn long to get dressed! I finally decided on dark blue skinny jeans, a tight black t-shirt and my usual converses. I was about to grab my wallet and go but I found the doorway blocked.  
"Where ya going Kyle? Ya know mom has rules about leaving the house after 9:30!"  
"Well I was hoping you could cover for me just this once!" I begged my little brother Ike.  
"Tell me why you're going out and I'll decide if it's a good enough reason!" he grinned childishly.  
"I going to the movies with a friend!"  
"Not good enough. MO.."  
I clamped my hand over his mouth and cried "Fine! It's a date. I'm going on a date that officially starts in 15 minutes! So if you'd please move so I won't be late then that would be great!"  
"Really?" Ike looked surprised, he was the only member of my family, who knew I was gay. "You found someone?"  
"Uhhhh yeah." I smiled sheepishly hoping my little White lie wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass.  
"Fine I'll cover for you but get back as soon as possible, ok?"  
I nodded in agreement then sprinted through the house to my shit car, which I could only just legally drive, and headed off.  
Cartman was already there when I arrived. I almost didn't recognise him. His hair was loose, falling to his shoulders, he was wearing a black wife beater, that showed off his muscles and the edge of a tattoo I never knew he had, baggy faded jeans the hung dangerously low on this hips. If I had only been passing by I would probably drool.  
"Hey Cartman!" I said as I approached him, I couldn't stop blushing.  
"Oh hey Kyle. Which movie do you want to see? I was thinking Zombie Killers III!"  
"*Gulp* Is that...a horror film?"  
"Yep! That's ok isn't it?" he replied, his face showing a great deal of concern.  
"Yeah yeah! It's all good I love horror films! Ha ha ha ha ha!" I laughed nervously.  
Ok I admit it! I hate horror or anything even marginally close to horror. Ever since I was ten and Stan got his hands on Saw VI at a sleepover, insisting we watch it! I shudder at the thought of all that blood. And why did I tell Cartman I wanted to see that move? I have no clue.  
"Alright let's go! Do you wanna share a popcorn?"  
"Ok." I smiled.  
Ahhhhhh the upside to the horror film, popcorn! Salty buttery corny heaven.  
So Cartman bought the popcorn and our tickets. We were soon sitting in the first row of the largest screen at the cinema!  
"Don't you think we're sitting a little close?" I asked nervously, nibbling on my nails.  
"It's way better up close. If you love horror movies then you'll love this!" grinned Cartman staring up expectedly at the screen.  
Oh so I'm going to hate it then! I thought extremely unhappily.  
And so the torture began! I kept my eyes close for most of it and for the first half I succeeded not to jump to violently at the sounds. When suddenly about half way through, I thought things had been a bit quiet so I opened one eye and was treated to a image which made me jump about five feet in the air and upon landing grab ahold of Cartman's arm. I buried my face in his shoulder, shutting out the picture.  
"Woh Kyle are you ok? Do ya wanna leave?"  
I nodded and mumbled something about how I needed to go home.  
"Ok ok let's go!" he said trying get me to stand up but that was impossible because I was clinging to him, in fear.  
"Kyle if you don't stand up we can't leave!"  
I whimpered and balled my hands up in his shirt.  
"Fine but you can't be pissed at me for doing this!" he sighed as he somehow managed to swing me round onto his lap then lift me up bridal style and unceremoniously carried me out of the cinema.  
It did take awhile to get me to calm down but surprisingly Cartman was extremely patient and sympathetic.  
Afterwards he insisted that we had dinner and he would pay to say sorry for taking me to a movie that almost made we cry.  
Dinner was great, really great! We talked about anything and everything. If I'm going to be entirely honest, I hadn't laughed so much in years. Had Cartman always been this funny? Or maybe I han't noticed it before because his jokes always used to we centred around Jews!  
"Come on Kyle! You have to admit that on finding out you are gay, it would totally be Marsh you'd like!"  
"Ewwwwww no Stan was like a brother to me and that was all! God that thought totally creeps me out!"  
"Ha ha ha have I planted a disgusting image in your head which will make you not be able to look at Marsh the same ever again?"  
"Yes yes you've succeeded in making me creeped out so let's change subject, you perv!"  
"Ok so who do you actually like?"  
"Not saying and really that is not changing the subject! That is just continuing the subject!"  
"Ok ok you got me! How about we play twenty questions to see if I can guess? Please?"  
"Fine but you'll never guess!" you'll never guess because I'm not sure who I like.  
"Question 1: what colour is his hair?"  
I like guys with brown hair. "Brown."  
"Ok, eye colour?"  
"Grey!"  
"What classes is he in?"  
"I'm not sure."  
"Hey that's not a real answer!"  
"Yes it is because I don't know what classes he's in!"  
"Fine I'm make a list of people and you say yes or no to each one! Ok?"  
"Yeah yeah fine bossy boots!"  
"Clyde? Ok no. Oh what about that huge guy on the basketball team? No? Alright! Oh it isn't Craig is it?"  
"What Craig doesn't have brown hair?"  
"Yeah well who knows what colour hair he has under that dorky hat!"  
"Well nope not him."  
"...is it me? Kyle?"

"Kyle?"  
"Oh I look at the time! I've got to get home!"

He even insisted on driving me home, in my car and leave his bike there. Since tomorrow was saturday and we lived quite close to each other, he said he would get it then.  
As we pulled into the drive and I stumbled up to the door, fumbling over my keys. It was flung open by my annoying little brother, Ike.  
"Hey Kyle!" he called smugly, "How was you date?"  
"Date?" questioned a voice from behind me.  
I turned around to find Cartman grinning uncontrollably.  
"I'll leave you two kids alone to say goodbye!" winked Ike as he headed back inside. Sometimes I really do hate my brother!  
"So I'm your date! Am I?" whispered Cartman seductively as we edged closer and closer.  
"Ike makes a lot of stuff up!" I muttered embarrassedly.  
"You didn't deny it!" he replied as coiled his arms around my waist making escape impossible. So it was a good thing I didn't want to escape.  
As he kissed me, I felt like I was being electrocuted. Everything tingled and a wave of pleasure head straight down to my groin. I moaned loudly as he kissed across my cheek to my neck. Kissing, licking and biting me. Leaving several large red hickeys.  
"I have to go Kyle." he said pulling away, "I'll call you! I've still got your number."  
As he walked down the path of my house and began to walk down the pavement, he turned back and blew me a kiss. I watched until he was out of sight which is when I sunk onto my knees.  
That is probably the moment that me, Kyle Broflovski, actually realised I liked Eric Cartman!  
Oh god! I sound like a teenage girl!  
As I pretty much crawled inside on my hands and knees, my head bumped into someone's legs. I looked up into the scowling face of my mother.  
"And where have you been Kyle?"  
Before I replied I made sure to scan her face for any sign of her seeing me kiss Eric Cartman.  
"Go to bed this instance! Or you'll be grounded on Sunday as well as tomorrow!"  
Somehow I managed to pull myself to my feet and continue to my bedroom. Which is where I collapsed in a heap on my bed.


	3. Chapter 3

When did I become such a fake? I've been pretending to be someone I'm not for years but somehow I didn't realise! He brought the real me back to surface, without even trying. It reminded me why I had put up with him as a kid, I just play acted at being ok with Stan, Kenny and even my own family. But Cartman...that was different! Fighting with him, it made me forget, about being odd.  
On Monday, Cartman was all I could think about. Even though I was changing in the locker room where normally I'd find it impossible to get lost in my own thoughts!(you know why!)  
"Hey Fag!"  
I sighed. Who else would they possibly be talking to?  
I simply snorted not even dignifying them with a answer.  
"You'll never guess what I saw when I looked out of my bedroom window on friday night, fag!"  
I carried on ignoring them and wrenched open my locker in my continuation of changing.  
"I saw you and Eric Cartman making out on your front lawn! It was so disgusting. I nearly threw up!"  
"And what are those all over you neck?" pointed out the other ignorant buffoon.  
"Ewwww those are hickies! I can't believe you let yourself get marked by a dude! Even though you're a faggot that's just crossing a line!" the first continued to spew out homophobic and ridiculous comments.  
"Hey guys just leave him alone."  
"Why do you care Marsh? Do you have a crush on him or something?" the second gorilla mumbled stupidly.  
"No I don't but right now you two look like the homos pushing him against his locker while he tries to change!" reasoned, surprisingly, Stan.  
Drake and Wilson, I think those were their names, grumbled off out of the locker room leaving me and Stan alone.  
"Sorry about them!"  
"It's fine I'm used to it! Been out of the closet for years. I'm used them giving me grief about my sexual preferences!" I mumbled only just realising how awkward it was.  
"So...is it true about you and Cartman?"  
"Do you want the truth..." I made quote marks in the air, "or the 'real' truth?"  
"The 'real' truth?" he asked sounding unsure.  
"It's true."  
"Why are you telling me? Why do you trust me?" he question extremely surprised.  
"No offence but I don't! It's just it'll be all around school soon enough and I don't want super huge Stan Marsh, quarterback, mad at me for lying!" I laughed.  
He seemed quite cautious of making sure I was actually joking before he laughed along with me. As I finished getting changed and left the locker room, a long arm wrapped itself around my neck.  
"Hey Kyle! Heard about you and Cartman, good job! My car will be fixed in no time!"  
"That's not why I did it..." I mumbled uselessly.  
"Whatever!" Kenny called over his shoulder as he continued down the hall, "As long as my car gets fixed, you two can do what ever the hell you want!"  
"Hey Kyle!"  
I spun around to find Cartman strutting down the hallway towards me.  
"Can't talk right now Cartman!" I cried as I set off in the other direction.  
"No wait Kyle wait!"  
I started to run as fast as I could, trying to get away.  
"Kyle! Kyle! I want to talk!"  
Where to hide? Where to hide? The library! I'll be able to hide between the shelves.  
I rushed and immediately immersed myself between the shelves, picking up the nearest book and burying my face in it. Soon enough I heard approaching footsteps, please let it not be him.  
"I know thats you Kyle! Did you really think I wouldn't check in the library?" Said the one person I didn't want to see, Eric Cartman, looking pissed off and yanking the book away from me.  
"Why are you trying to avoid me?"  
"Avoid you? I'm not avoiding you!" I replied trying to act all cool and nonchalant. I reached for the book in his hand but he held it high above his head.  
"Yes you are! And I want to know why!" he said grabbing both my hands and pushing me against a bookcase.  
"I don't know what you're talking about!" I struggled against him until he pinned me completely against the bookcase.  
"Is it because I kissed you? Or because everyone found out about it?"  
"It's neither of those things! Just let me go!" I cried, tears bubbling up to the surface.  
"Fine! You know what? Fuck you Kyle! I don't know why I ever thought I loved..." he trailed off.  
"You what?" I squeaked. I don't think I've ever been so surprised.  
"Nothing! It doesn't matter!" he replied letting go and then turning his back on me.  
I ran after him and flung myself into his arms.  
"I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry!" I sobbed clinging to him, rubbing my face in his shirt.  
"Kyle! Kyle! Calm down!"  
"Please don't leave me!" I cried without thinking.

Cartman POV

I used to be fat. I hated everyone and myself then. Everything changed when I got to high school, people hated me just because I was fat. No other reason! They didn't need one. They only cared I wasn't their persona of perfection. Don't get me wrong when I was younger I was a little shit, I still to this day don't know how I had friends, but at high school I though that maybe everyone would have grown up by then. I had changed. I had grown up.  
I think I've always liked Kyle...  
I remember deliberately poking fun at him just to get a reaction. He didn't realise I could see past his fake smiles. The smiles were very convincing but his eyes always gave the game away!  
I was jealous. I knew that Kyle liked Stan and Kenny better than me. It hurt because I liked him so much and I knew that really he had no positive feelings towards me.  
It took awhile to figure out what I wanted. I slept around after joining auto shop. First Wendy (but if you asked her she'd probably deny it) and then Butters (he'd would never deny it because he has convinced himself that he loves me)  
I've even done Craig. That's how we became friends. I don't really have any other friends! The only person I'd ever want to be my friend is Kyle.

"Please don't leave me!"  
I love you Kyle! I couldn't leave forever, even if I wanted to.  
His head was buried in my neck.  
"I liked your hair better natural." I mumbled absentmindedly, running my hands through it.  
"...what?" he whispered looking up at me.  
"Oh...I was just thinking about what it looked like before you dyed it!" I stuttered running a hand through my own hair.  
Suddenly he threw his arms around my neck.

Normal POV

Kyle kissed Cartman full on the mouth which was all the indication, that Kyle wanted him, that he needed.

Kyle POV

"Hey Kyle you ok?"  
Was all I heard before a blur of black and red tackled Cartman around the waist, knocking him from my grasp.  
"You bastard!" hissed Stan as he pinned Cartman down with his knees.  
"What the fuck! Are you doing Stan?" cried out Cartman as Stan's fist connected with his nose.  
"Get off him Stan!" I screamed as I grabbed Stan under the arms and desperately tried to pull him away from Cartman.

Sorry it took me awhile to get this up! I've been really busy with school stuff but anyway hope you enjoy and I promise to quick with my next upload!


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